Sunday, December 21, 2014

Song: Be not afraid









Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

- Henry James


Hope this song helps you lighten your day!



More songs:

Give it to me baby

'I am all over this'

'I am all over this' có nghĩa là gì? 


‘I am all over this’ là một thành ngữ và nó có nghĩa là ai đó có toàn quyền và chịu trách nhiệm về mọi việc. Nó thường được viết tắt dưới dạng ‘all over it’.
‘I am all over the construction of the new website, leave it with me.’
Một câu có nghĩa tương tự là ‘I am on it’, có nghĩa là tôi đang làm việc đó hay tôi chịu trách nhiệm.

A. ‘How are the plans for the upcoming sandcastle building competition?’
B. ‘I am on it, don’t worry.’

‘I am over it’ còn có nghĩa hơi khác nữa, nó có nghĩa là ai đó đã bỏ qua được những ký ức hay tình huống xấu sau lưnng.

I am over last year, and I am focussing solely on the year ahead.’

Song:

I'm All Over It lyrics by Jamie Cullum.


Hello innocence
Though it seems though we’ve been friends for years
I’m finishing
How I wish it had never begun
Though it should be the last one
And it’s dragging me down to my knees
Where I’m begging you please

Let me go
Don’t you know

I’m all over it now
And I cant say how glad I am about that
I’m all over it now
‘cos I worked and I cursed and I tried
And I said I could change and I lied
Where there’s something still moves me inside
 She’s a memory
That I’ve tried to forget but I can’t
It still follows me
When I wake in the dead of the night
And I know that I can’t fight
That song going round in my head
Like the last thing she said

Please don’t go
You’d think I know

I’m all over it now
And I cant say how glad I am about that
I’m all over it now
‘cos I worked and I cursed and I cried
And I said I could change and I lied
Where there’s something still moves me inside

Now I wont come back
I wont come back
No I wont come back
No I wont come back

One dark morning
She left without warning
And took the redeye back to London town

I’m all over it now
I’m all over it now


Saturday, December 13, 2014

The four things that doom relationships

Author: John Gottman 

John has studied thousands of couples and show Four things came up again and again that indicated a relationship was headed for trouble. He call them "The Four Horsemen Of The Relationship Apocalypse"


#1: Criticism

Criticism is staging the problem in a relationship as a character flaw in a partner. The Masters did the opposite: they point a finger at themselves and they really have a very gentle way of starting up the discussion, minimizing the problem and talking about what they feel and what they need.

#2: Defensiveness


The second horseman was defensiveness which is a natural reaction to being criticized. It takes two forms: counterattacking or acting like an innocent victim and whining. Again, the Masters were very different even when their partner was critical. They accepted the criticism, or even took responsibility for part of the problem. They said, “Talk to me, I want to hear how you feel about this.”

#3: Contempt


Contempt is talking down to their partner. Being insulting or acting superior. Not only did it predict relationship breakup, but it predicted the number of infectious illnesses that the recipient of contempt would have in the next four years when we measured health.

#4: Stonewalling

It’s shutting down or tuning out. It passively tells your partner, “I don’t care.” And 85% of the time it’s guys who do this.

John is a professor emeritus at the University of Wrashington and co-founder of the Gottman Institute. He’s published over 190 papers and authored more than 40 books, including:
  • Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love
  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
Source:

Waiting for the Barbarians : The Ethics Of Torture, Explored In A Painful Fable by J.M. Coetzee

Waiting for the Barbarians was written in 1980, during the apartheid regime in South Africa. But what it says about torture remains true today. If the state wants to stand up to barbarity, it cannot 

The book begins in an unnamed empire. An old magistrate spends his days adjudicating small cases in a border outpost and his nights stargazing in the open fields. His quiet life is interrupted by the arrival of Colonel Joll, who has been sent from the capital with news that a rebellion is brewing among barbarian tribes. He is here to investigate and there are already a couple of suspects in custody.

At first, the magistrate is cooperative. He talks to the prisoners, urges them to tell the truth. But they show signs of torture and one of them turns up dead.

Doubt grows in the magistrate's mind. "What if your prisoner is telling the truth," he asks, "yet finds he is not believed?" But Colonel Joll cannot believe anything a prisoner says unless it is extracted through pain. "Pain is truth," J.M. Coetzee writes, "all else is subject to doubt."

When the magistrate defies Colonel Joll's orders, he too is taken into custody and tortured. Now, he sees, he is nothing but a body, a body that "can entertain notions of justice only as long as it is whole and well" but soon forgets them when "its head is gripped and a pipe is pushed down its gullet and pints of salt water are poured into it."

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